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Well stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose! Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially sick of politics!
I know how frightening those words must sound to those who know me. Everyone who had ever talked to me for more than 5 minutes knows I'm a politics junkie. I actually WATCH C-Span. How sad is THAT?
Now, seeing what's happening in Florida, I think I'll vomit. This proves once and for all that our electoral process is flawed in the most basic way. WE DON'T ELECT OUR OWN PRESIDENT. Al Gore has won the popular vote (ugh), but it looks as if George "My-Head-Is-More-Vacuous-Than-Interstellar-Space" Bush (Spewwwwwww) will win the presidency. Tell me,
I would like to address this point now: not all of elligible voters in the USA voted. This having been said, only about 25% or so of elligible voters actually want Bush to be president. The same goes for Gore, only slightly more. This is NOT a majority. Not in ANY sense of the term.
Seriously, this whole Election2000 is a strong arguement for a Parliamentary system, like almost EVERY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD has. In a Parliamentary system, the president does exactly JACK SHIT. There would be no big deal over this stalemate. The real power sits in the hands of the Prime Minister, head of the party with the majority of seats. Of course, in parliamentary systems, you invariably have more than two parties in power. For example, there are three "real" parties in Britain: Labour, Liberal, and Conservative. There are also Communists, Socialist, and even fascist parties, but they rarely hold any real power.
The point is, for a Parliamentary Government, this whole problem with the election in Florida would NOT be a problem at all; there would simply be a new election. None of this doomsaying about who is manipulating what vote.
And now for something not entirely different: I live in Washington State. I was driving back from the Costco the other day and came upon a squad of Republicans standing on the street corners, waving signs that said, among other things "Sore/Loserman 2000." I am not a Gore supporter, but frankly I'd rather have him in office than that booze-swilling, crack-snorting redneck Texan. I also have no patience for people who slow down traffic. I therefore felt obliged to lower my window and shout "Wrong State, Asshole." I did thus. I felt REALLY good having done this.
I have a solution to this entire mess in Florida. Simply invalidate the election, nationwide, and declare me Supreme Overlord Emperor of Earth. Among my campaign promises: I will make it illegal for anyone from Texas to run for ANY office, ANYWHERE. I will also kick Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell in the balls, by tricking them into playing Rochambo.
So remember: Overthrow the capitalist oppressors and install Kitsune as Supreme Overlord Emperor of Earth!